Sunday, September 20, 2009

GUIDE TO MODERN LIVING - Chapter 1

Part 1: Don't talk in movie theatres.
During commericals and trailers it's Ok, but once the flick starts, shut up! This is not a cultural thing, this is basic manners. At $12.50 a pop for some theatres in NYC, a person shouldnt have to miss one second of a film because some knucklehead is talking on her cell, or another knucklehead is giving commentary on the film like he's the director on a DVD extra. Ya wanna narrate? Do it on your couch!

Part 2: Never let waitstaff clear the plates til everyone at the table is done eating.
This makes the person still dining uncomfortable and pressured, two things one does not want to experience during dinner. People eat at different speeds, sometimes a person tells a long story, whatever. If I finish first, I leave a bite or a piece of bread on my plate and say, "Still working on it" when they try to clear, until everyone's done eating. Plus if your dining companion(s) order something that you're envious of and they don't finish it, you can score a few bites by sliding it over onto the open real estate on your plate!

This is really Part 1-A:
Shut off cell phones in movie theatres, live theatres, religious services, lectures, concerts, etc.
This is a no-brainer.

More to come...

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